Bring it.

I've had a count down for the last two weeks on our white board in the kitchen, "1 week", "5 days" "two days" and finally I wiped it away this morning. Today was the day! I've spent the last month stuck in a rut (understandably so). Being stuck is a hard place to be, when you're me. Today was the day I finally regained some of that control back. It was finally appointment day.

I sat in the parking lot for a good ten minutes before talked myself into going in. Because you see as excited I was (and am) to jump back in, I was equally terrified to face the harsh reality of what happened only a month ago. I knew as soon as Dr. Roach walked into the room we would be going over as she called it "my most recent pregnancy". And that is exactly what we did. In the little room at the end of the hallway we went over every date, detail, symptom and hcg number. Much to my surprise I mustered through all that without being a puddle on the floor. I must say I'm rather proud of myself.

She flipped through my charts, she nodded and, "mhmm"'d for a few minutes and then she asked "How much more metformin can your body handle" I looked at her with a straight face and responded "Bring it!"

I don't know if I've mentioned before the numerous areas aside from the reproductive system that are effected my pcos. My hair is thin and falls out, my face breaks out, I get debilitating migraines and pcos does a really good job at messing with your insulin levels. Metformin (oddly enough, an anti diabetic) helps keep that regulated. So we upped that to the highest dosage allowed, because the lower the insulin "the better the blood flow to the placenta", which means better for the baby! PCOS has gives me a higher than average rate for a reoccurring miscarriage, and my doctor is confident that this is the best way to prevent another loss. So much medical talk today hope I didn't loose you, sorry guys and I hope I didn't gross you out with my placenta mentioning.

Everything else, remains the same I will be on the same 3 medications that got me pregnant with Bump, because we know they work. So we upped my Metformin, refilled my Chlomid and Cabergonoline and printed a lab slip for the half way point of our two week wait. So for now, this cycle has officially started and on Cycle day 3, I take my first Chlomid (ovulatiory assistance drug) of five, and we wait for the positive ovulation test (which is looking to be around Valentines day, hey hey hey). I can feel it all the way down to my toes, this is going to be a good month!

Special thank you to everyone who facebooked, instagramed, texted and called me today with wishes of goof luck, prayers and support for today. None of this would all be possible, if we didn't have the best support system in the world right by our side.

Armed with tokens off good luck, 

I walked to the end of the hallway, and we made a plan.

Infertility, I'm gonna kick your butt! For real this time!

XOXOXO

Momma D.